Friday, November 28, 2008
RIP Pekka Pohjola
Today I, as well as the many of us, were saddened by the news that the greatest composer and bass player of all time, Pekka Pohjola, had passed away. Notice that I'm stating the terms "greatest" and "of all time" as facts instead of opinions. That's intentional.
I'm not a prog rock enthusiast, I'm not a professional bass player, or any good at it. I just love his music. I'm disappointed that I never got to see him play live. I can't tell if his life was too short or not. I know that he never sucked, as many musicians tend to do when they pass their prime. He seemed to be drawn towards a particular type of a synthesizer sound in the 80's, which doesn't seem to age well, but I can live with that. This is the only complaint I can think of about his music.
Now this was a guy that composed music that could bring a hard man, such as yours truly, to tears. This is music that will expand your consciousness if you hadn't heard it before. When you watch the video above, remember that the bass player is the guy who wrote the music, and where the plentiful credit is due. He's not a guy who takes the center stage, but he's the guy you should watch.
I haven't listened to all of his albums, but I know what I like. Wait, I don't. I can't tell whether I like Visitation or Keesojen Lehto the best. They're both amazing albums. They ought to have the song "Try to remember" from Visitation playing in his funeral. That's what I'd like to have playing in mine.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Petty, devastating annoyances
Today I decided to indulge myself. I work in a noisy open office, so I decided to purchase quality headphones of the closed kind. Big ones, because I want headphones not only to sound good, but also to convey a message: I'm working, I'm trying to insulate myself from all the noise and fuss, so don't bother me. You know, you got to have quality headphones when you spend eight hours each day listening to music. I don't necessarily want to spend eight hours each day listening to music, I'm forced to do it because I need to concentrate. It's easier to concentrate while listening to music than listening to coworkers conversating and socializing. They're not supposed to socialize too much in an open office either, because it bothers coworkers, but they do it anyway. Stupid lack of discipline.
Anyway. I went to a small shopping centre two kilometres from where I live, because there's a computer shop there that sells quality headphones at a reasonable price. I had my kid with me. At the store I went directly to the headphone rack, compared a few models, made a decision and went to the counter. It took me all of a 2.5 minutes to do that. But at the counter there was a line of about six nerds and two clerks serving them. I stood in the line for about half an hour, trying to keep my kid calm, while listening to nerds buying computers one component at a time. They'd ask the clerk to recommend a video card, who'd find the available video cards on his computer. Then they'd discuss and compare the merits of each model and possibly agree on the model the nerd would like. Then the clerk would go to find the video card from the store or possibly the back room. Then he'd come back and ask if the nerd would like to have anything else. The nerd would then name the next component he needed. It went on and on. There are many components in a computer. There are many nerds.
I was only one nerd away from purchasing the headphones, but I had to give up. My kid was getting restless and so was I. I took the headphones back to the rack and walked out of the store. The nerd was probably a more valuable customer than I, because he bought equipment for, say, 600 €. But in the time that it took the clerk to service him, 20 guys could have walked in and purchased 30 € headphones each, had there been a counter where purchasing items had been made efficient. All the store would have to do is to separate customer service and the counters. Now the customers who know what they want and want to get it quickly have to stand in line, annoyed, for a long time, tapping their wrists impatiently, and the customers who want customer service have to explain their needs to the clerks in front of an annoyed, wrist-tapping crowd.
So I came back home and ordered the headphones from another computer shop in another city via internet. They'll be delivered by mail and I'll have to fetch them from the post office, which is actually as far away as the shopping centre. But at least in the post office there will not be a bunch of nerds blocking my way. There might be a few grannies, but at least they're usually faster, and stronger, than nerds. They also have a more pleasant odour, might I say.
Oh, and also, there weren't any frozen Karelian pasties in the grocery store. What kind of a grocery store doesn't have frozen Karelian pasties these days? A crappy one, I tell you.
Yes, I do realize that I'm a spoiled brat for complaining of petty matters like these.
That's all.
Anyway. I went to a small shopping centre two kilometres from where I live, because there's a computer shop there that sells quality headphones at a reasonable price. I had my kid with me. At the store I went directly to the headphone rack, compared a few models, made a decision and went to the counter. It took me all of a 2.5 minutes to do that. But at the counter there was a line of about six nerds and two clerks serving them. I stood in the line for about half an hour, trying to keep my kid calm, while listening to nerds buying computers one component at a time. They'd ask the clerk to recommend a video card, who'd find the available video cards on his computer. Then they'd discuss and compare the merits of each model and possibly agree on the model the nerd would like. Then the clerk would go to find the video card from the store or possibly the back room. Then he'd come back and ask if the nerd would like to have anything else. The nerd would then name the next component he needed. It went on and on. There are many components in a computer. There are many nerds.
I was only one nerd away from purchasing the headphones, but I had to give up. My kid was getting restless and so was I. I took the headphones back to the rack and walked out of the store. The nerd was probably a more valuable customer than I, because he bought equipment for, say, 600 €. But in the time that it took the clerk to service him, 20 guys could have walked in and purchased 30 € headphones each, had there been a counter where purchasing items had been made efficient. All the store would have to do is to separate customer service and the counters. Now the customers who know what they want and want to get it quickly have to stand in line, annoyed, for a long time, tapping their wrists impatiently, and the customers who want customer service have to explain their needs to the clerks in front of an annoyed, wrist-tapping crowd.
So I came back home and ordered the headphones from another computer shop in another city via internet. They'll be delivered by mail and I'll have to fetch them from the post office, which is actually as far away as the shopping centre. But at least in the post office there will not be a bunch of nerds blocking my way. There might be a few grannies, but at least they're usually faster, and stronger, than nerds. They also have a more pleasant odour, might I say.
Oh, and also, there weren't any frozen Karelian pasties in the grocery store. What kind of a grocery store doesn't have frozen Karelian pasties these days? A crappy one, I tell you.
Yes, I do realize that I'm a spoiled brat for complaining of petty matters like these.
That's all.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Why Facebook rules
In the nineties, when I was in my early twenties, I wanted to become a musician. At the time (and still), one of my biggest influences was Mansun, and especially the lead singer/songwriter/producer of the band, Paul Draper. I loved his music. I admired his style. I aspired to be like him. I had secret daydreams of him producing my to-be groundbreaking, legendary first album (still yet to appear).
Well, guess what. This week I became a close, personal friend of Paul's. That is to say, I sent him a friend request in Facebook (because his web pages told me that it's okay to do so), and he accepted it. I enclosed a short message, in which I shyly praised his music, and he responded by thanking me for the friend request. And like a little girl, I'm still somewhat dizzy, giggling and blushed because my idol sent me a personal message, which he actually wrote (or possibly partly copy-pasted), with his own fingers, in his secret musical laboratory, which must be among the greatest places on earth.
Now I can see updates on his Facebook activities, and he can see mine. This is beneficial for both of us. If you excuse the marketing parlance, he can market his products to the likes of me, the consumers. And I get information on his products, which I really want to get, unlike most of the advertising I receive. Also, I get kicks. It makes me feel comfortable to see that he just updated his status or did something else online. I get the feeling that he's out there, and if I yank my network cable his Mac (or possibly PC) will fall of the table. Oops. Better to not yank it. Might accidentally destroy the hard drive containing all of his recordings, which would have been the greatest yet.
All of this applies also to less famous Facebook friends. I can communicate with them in both passive and active ways. I can put things about me on display for others to discover, or I can actively contact other people in numerous ways. I can send messages, invite people to events, join or create groups or participate in silly online games. It's easier and more fun to communicate with friends in Facebook than by email.
Some hundred years ago, there was a cranky old guy (possibly a relative of mine) sitting in a Finnish sauna, objecting to pen and paper. "Why should I learn these new things when I can just go to the neighbour's and sit silently over coffee with them there?"
And then again, some ten years ago, there was a cranky young guy sitting in a Finnish sauna (it was me), objecting to cellular phones. "Why should I learn these new things when I can just go and ring my friends' doorbell and sit silently over coffee with them there?"
Today, there's a cranky guy (Tuomo, I'm talking about you) sitting in a Finnish sauna, objecting to Facebook. "Why should I...", you know.
Well, you should learn it, Tuomo, because it's inevitable. In the future, there will be a means of communication which will replace telephone, email and whatnot. It will be Facebook or some other network thing. You can't escape it, so embrace it.
Well, guess what. This week I became a close, personal friend of Paul's. That is to say, I sent him a friend request in Facebook (because his web pages told me that it's okay to do so), and he accepted it. I enclosed a short message, in which I shyly praised his music, and he responded by thanking me for the friend request. And like a little girl, I'm still somewhat dizzy, giggling and blushed because my idol sent me a personal message, which he actually wrote (or possibly partly copy-pasted), with his own fingers, in his secret musical laboratory, which must be among the greatest places on earth.
Now I can see updates on his Facebook activities, and he can see mine. This is beneficial for both of us. If you excuse the marketing parlance, he can market his products to the likes of me, the consumers. And I get information on his products, which I really want to get, unlike most of the advertising I receive. Also, I get kicks. It makes me feel comfortable to see that he just updated his status or did something else online. I get the feeling that he's out there, and if I yank my network cable his Mac (or possibly PC) will fall of the table. Oops. Better to not yank it. Might accidentally destroy the hard drive containing all of his recordings, which would have been the greatest yet.
All of this applies also to less famous Facebook friends. I can communicate with them in both passive and active ways. I can put things about me on display for others to discover, or I can actively contact other people in numerous ways. I can send messages, invite people to events, join or create groups or participate in silly online games. It's easier and more fun to communicate with friends in Facebook than by email.
Some hundred years ago, there was a cranky old guy (possibly a relative of mine) sitting in a Finnish sauna, objecting to pen and paper. "Why should I learn these new things when I can just go to the neighbour's and sit silently over coffee with them there?"
And then again, some ten years ago, there was a cranky young guy sitting in a Finnish sauna (it was me), objecting to cellular phones. "Why should I learn these new things when I can just go and ring my friends' doorbell and sit silently over coffee with them there?"
Today, there's a cranky guy (Tuomo, I'm talking about you) sitting in a Finnish sauna, objecting to Facebook. "Why should I...", you know.
Well, you should learn it, Tuomo, because it's inevitable. In the future, there will be a means of communication which will replace telephone, email and whatnot. It will be Facebook or some other network thing. You can't escape it, so embrace it.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Information overflow
As you probably have noticed, there's too much information coming in from various channels and media today. More, much more than anyone can consume. Besides the established media, there's the internet, where any moron can publish their thoughts 24/7, or even more often. Anybody with access to a computer can meander on aimlessly forever, providing no real information whatsoever. They can go on and on and on and on, producing non-informative, incoherent rambling. Billions of pictures, web pages, blogs, words, characters, pixels and bits flowing in and out of your eyes, ears, fingers and other organs.
So, as a philanthropist, I'll relieve your pain slightly, and not write any more today.
So, as a philanthropist, I'll relieve your pain slightly, and not write any more today.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Boring reads
Because my earlier attempt at art critique was so well received and hugely popular (4 comments, 3 of which weren't written by me), here's some more. Today I'll be reviewing the art of the written word and, true to the theme of this blog, concentrating especially on boring stuff.
Grocery store receipt, dated 22.5.2008, amounting to 34,55 €
This is nice, compact read, suitable length for a bus ride, for example. The format is nicely small and lightweight. When folded it fits in your shirt pocket, or you can even swallow it without too much pain, if you must, to hide your shameful shopping history. The content is maybe not quite lengthy enough to count as truly boring, but the repetition (milk carton x 3, baby food x 12) is a good attempt.
Insurance advertisement billboard
The ad, as seen through the bus window while stopped at the traffic lights and, by chance, while looking up from your grocery store receipt, is kind of too lame and conservative to really catch your eye, but you try to read it anyway. The slogan is instantly forgettable, and the small text at the bottom is too small and lengthy to be read from a bus window. Therefore this doesn't really qualify as boring, but bonus points on the lameness of the information which manages to flow through your brain without ever really registering.
Text message feedback column of local free news magazine
"Dog owners, clean up your pet's droppings, or else...", "Dog haters, stop complaining about dog s**t, or else..." and "12.5. Hotel Vantaa, moustached hunk in a woollen sweater, I miss you and can we meet again? Yours 4ever, chick with black and white hair and considerable love handles.". These and many more can be found among the gems in the free magazine found on the bus seat. None of the items contains any useful information, but sadly, they are the only part of the magazine you can be bothered to read, because you've already read the actual news in the morning from a real newspaper. Great points on the boring, but it is kind of interesting to imagine what the lives of the miserable losers bothering to write this useless crap must be like.
Microwave meal ingredient list
Rice starch, carrot (0.1 %), artificial essence, E241... Mmm... E241. The list of ingredients in the carton of your microwave meal starts as boring, although incomprehensible, but a shocking turn of events awaits at the end: can this 250 g blob of delicious sustenance really contain 310 g of pure fat?
Bus schedule
The bus schedule might not be your primary choice of quality literature to enjoy on an autumn evening in a comfy chair with a snifter of cognac, but it could happen. For example, a fire might destroy all of your personal belongings except your comfy chair, bus schedule, snifter and bottle of Courvoisier. Should that happen, I think you'd be pleasantly surprised. The information provided by the bus schedule is definitely very boring, but ever so useful. Did you know that the 734 goes to Ånas?
Phone book
Now this is the classic boring read. The big book of boring. Generation after generation has been put to sleep by the comforting, indigestible information provided by the phone book. How will the future humans survive, when the phone books have been made obsolete by the mobile devices and the Internet? I mean, you can always make your computer read out loud the Internet version of the phone book, but I know I'll sure miss the comforting weight and smell of the thousands of inky pages on my face while snoring away.
Grocery store receipt, dated 22.5.2008, amounting to 34,55 €
This is nice, compact read, suitable length for a bus ride, for example. The format is nicely small and lightweight. When folded it fits in your shirt pocket, or you can even swallow it without too much pain, if you must, to hide your shameful shopping history. The content is maybe not quite lengthy enough to count as truly boring, but the repetition (milk carton x 3, baby food x 12) is a good attempt.
Insurance advertisement billboard
The ad, as seen through the bus window while stopped at the traffic lights and, by chance, while looking up from your grocery store receipt, is kind of too lame and conservative to really catch your eye, but you try to read it anyway. The slogan is instantly forgettable, and the small text at the bottom is too small and lengthy to be read from a bus window. Therefore this doesn't really qualify as boring, but bonus points on the lameness of the information which manages to flow through your brain without ever really registering.
Text message feedback column of local free news magazine
"Dog owners, clean up your pet's droppings, or else...", "Dog haters, stop complaining about dog s**t, or else..." and "12.5. Hotel Vantaa, moustached hunk in a woollen sweater, I miss you and can we meet again? Yours 4ever, chick with black and white hair and considerable love handles.". These and many more can be found among the gems in the free magazine found on the bus seat. None of the items contains any useful information, but sadly, they are the only part of the magazine you can be bothered to read, because you've already read the actual news in the morning from a real newspaper. Great points on the boring, but it is kind of interesting to imagine what the lives of the miserable losers bothering to write this useless crap must be like.
Microwave meal ingredient list
Rice starch, carrot (0.1 %), artificial essence, E241... Mmm... E241. The list of ingredients in the carton of your microwave meal starts as boring, although incomprehensible, but a shocking turn of events awaits at the end: can this 250 g blob of delicious sustenance really contain 310 g of pure fat?
Bus schedule
The bus schedule might not be your primary choice of quality literature to enjoy on an autumn evening in a comfy chair with a snifter of cognac, but it could happen. For example, a fire might destroy all of your personal belongings except your comfy chair, bus schedule, snifter and bottle of Courvoisier. Should that happen, I think you'd be pleasantly surprised. The information provided by the bus schedule is definitely very boring, but ever so useful. Did you know that the 734 goes to Ånas?
Phone book
Now this is the classic boring read. The big book of boring. Generation after generation has been put to sleep by the comforting, indigestible information provided by the phone book. How will the future humans survive, when the phone books have been made obsolete by the mobile devices and the Internet? I mean, you can always make your computer read out loud the Internet version of the phone book, but I know I'll sure miss the comforting weight and smell of the thousands of inky pages on my face while snoring away.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Join Me For Life
Even though I mostly listen to MOR when scrubbing the floors (and so should you), the repertoire of the popular Finnish music group HIM includes several quite snappy tunes. Their biggest hit, Join Me In Death, is really catchy and has the capability to make my feet tap and fingers snap to the beat. But one thing has started to bother me: the lyrics are a bit sad and even depressive. I'm not even sure if it is advisable for the young 'uns to listen to this kind of music, at least often. So here's my improved version of the song lyrics. Cheer up, Ville Valo et al, life isn't so bad (and feel free to record this version)!
Join MeIn Death For Life
Baby join mein death for life
Baby join mein death for life
Baby join mein death for life
We are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we're considering
escape from this world marriage
and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
was so anxious to be together
together indeath lawful matrimony
Won't youdie live tonight for love
Baby join mein death for life
Won't youdie live
Baby join mein death for life
Won't youdie live tonight for love
Baby join mein death for life
This world is acruel happy place
and we're here only tolose enjoy
so before lifetears us apart fulfills our dreams let
death a wedding official bless me with you
Won't youdie rejoice tonight for love
Baby join mein death for life
Won't youdie live happily ever after
Baby join mein death for life
Won't youdie dance tonight for love
Baby join mein death for life
This life ain't worth living Seize the day!
This life ain't worth living It's time for dancing in the streets!
This life ain't worth living Don't worry, be happy!
Won't youdie smile tonight for love
Baby join mein death for life
Won't youdie make love with me
Baby join mein death for life
Won't youdie live tonight for love
Baby join mein death for life
Baby join mein death for life
Join Me
Baby join me
Baby join me
Baby join me
We are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we're considering
and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
was so anxious to be together
together in
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
This world is a
and we're here only to
so before life
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
Won't you
Baby join me
Baby join me
Friday, April 25, 2008
Continuous Cleaning
Ok, here's the long overdue blog entry on household cleaning techniques you've been so eagerly waiting for. You know, there are few things in life that are better than scrubbing your ceramic cooking plate with Dr. Beckmann's cleaning fluid for ceramic cooking plates (with jojoba oil), then taking out those last, most persistent specks of dirt with a razor blade and finally: resting your eyes on the perfect, shining, reflective, immaculate cooking plate. Ahhh... I love cleaning.
I like to call my favourite household cleaning technique Continuous Cleaning. Well, not out loud, but in my mind I do, because I'm a nerd obsessed with cleanliness. But anyway, by Continuous Cleaning I mean the same thing as Not Letting Your Household Get Dirty.
Washing the dishes might be a suitable example of this technique. Owners of a dishwasher, please use your imagination. This technique can be applied to all kinds of cleaning tasks. Let us compare the ways a) an anonymous, non-continously cleaning person and b) myself, a continuous cleaner, would typically handle diswashing during a week (note: exaggeration):
a) Get a clean glass from the cupboard every time you drink water. Put the glass in the sink after doing so. Leave food leftovers on plates and pile them onto stacks. Leave empty milk cartons, baby food jars and the like on the kitchen counter. Postpone washing the dishes until there aren't any clean containers for food left, except the ugly flower vase you received from your mother-in-law. Oh sod it, that can be used as a beverage container too. Complain noisily that dishwashing is dreadful. Finally, wash the dishes at the end of the week when raccoons have started taking over the garbage heap that once was the kitchen counter.
b) Use a single mug for coffee and other beverages for a day. Rinse empty milk cartons and baby food jars and put them away right when they are emptied. Wash the dishes after each dinner, if possible. If something spills on the kitchen counter, wipe it away immediately. Before going to sleep each night, wash the remaining dishes, if any.
Which method seems better? Ok, we all agree that b) is much better, at least for these reasons:
- there are clean containers for food available all week
- being in the kitchen doesn't cause weird, indescribable anxiety
- health hazards caused by mutated food leftovers and raccoon attacks are unlikely
- loud complaining by family members is scarce and therefore stress levels are tolerable.
Now which method seems less troublesome? Some might argue that method a) is less work because you can just slob away all week and then take care of the cleaning on Sunday. I'll maintain, however, that method b) is easier based on the followingopinions facts:
- rinsing away non-dried food leftovers is significantly easier than scrubbing dried up, unidentified goo
- washing the dishes is easy when you have room to do it, i.e. the sink is not full of other dishes
- the total work seems easier, because washing up a couple of plates does not seem like an insurmountable task that takes up the whole Sunday afternoon
- the continuously clean environment lifts up your spirits so you'll have more energy to wash the dishes.
Ok, if this didn't convince you, I'll offer another example. Suppose you've spilled some coffee on the wall and floor on a frantic morning when trying to feed the kid in a hurry. If you clean it up right away, you'll be late, but at least it's free. If you leave it uncleaned, thinking that it's unjust having to clean it up in such a situation, the coffee will soak up into the wall and possibly warp the floor. And later, when selling the apartment, you'll either have to repaint the wall and have the floor leveled, or possibly accept an offer from a buyer that's thousands of units in the local currency below your request because of the damage. Beware!
Ok, this might get a little far-fetched. But please excuse me. I'm an engineer by trade and therefore mostly spend my working days figuring out solutions to problems, optimizing processes and convincing other people that the way I want to do it is the best way to do it. I can't just stop doing so at home, can I? And there's no point in telling me that "you've changed man, it used to be about the music", Mr. Hippie, you weren't born a guitar up your arse either, it just became located there some 20 years later. Everyone changes, all the time.
I like to call my favourite household cleaning technique Continuous Cleaning. Well, not out loud, but in my mind I do, because I'm a nerd obsessed with cleanliness. But anyway, by Continuous Cleaning I mean the same thing as Not Letting Your Household Get Dirty.
Washing the dishes might be a suitable example of this technique. Owners of a dishwasher, please use your imagination. This technique can be applied to all kinds of cleaning tasks. Let us compare the ways a) an anonymous, non-continously cleaning person and b) myself, a continuous cleaner, would typically handle diswashing during a week (note: exaggeration):
a) Get a clean glass from the cupboard every time you drink water. Put the glass in the sink after doing so. Leave food leftovers on plates and pile them onto stacks. Leave empty milk cartons, baby food jars and the like on the kitchen counter. Postpone washing the dishes until there aren't any clean containers for food left, except the ugly flower vase you received from your mother-in-law. Oh sod it, that can be used as a beverage container too. Complain noisily that dishwashing is dreadful. Finally, wash the dishes at the end of the week when raccoons have started taking over the garbage heap that once was the kitchen counter.
b) Use a single mug for coffee and other beverages for a day. Rinse empty milk cartons and baby food jars and put them away right when they are emptied. Wash the dishes after each dinner, if possible. If something spills on the kitchen counter, wipe it away immediately. Before going to sleep each night, wash the remaining dishes, if any.
Which method seems better? Ok, we all agree that b) is much better, at least for these reasons:
- there are clean containers for food available all week
- being in the kitchen doesn't cause weird, indescribable anxiety
- health hazards caused by mutated food leftovers and raccoon attacks are unlikely
- loud complaining by family members is scarce and therefore stress levels are tolerable.
Now which method seems less troublesome? Some might argue that method a) is less work because you can just slob away all week and then take care of the cleaning on Sunday. I'll maintain, however, that method b) is easier based on the following
- rinsing away non-dried food leftovers is significantly easier than scrubbing dried up, unidentified goo
- washing the dishes is easy when you have room to do it, i.e. the sink is not full of other dishes
- the total work seems easier, because washing up a couple of plates does not seem like an insurmountable task that takes up the whole Sunday afternoon
- the continuously clean environment lifts up your spirits so you'll have more energy to wash the dishes.
Ok, if this didn't convince you, I'll offer another example. Suppose you've spilled some coffee on the wall and floor on a frantic morning when trying to feed the kid in a hurry. If you clean it up right away, you'll be late, but at least it's free. If you leave it uncleaned, thinking that it's unjust having to clean it up in such a situation, the coffee will soak up into the wall and possibly warp the floor. And later, when selling the apartment, you'll either have to repaint the wall and have the floor leveled, or possibly accept an offer from a buyer that's thousands of units in the local currency below your request because of the damage. Beware!
Ok, this might get a little far-fetched. But please excuse me. I'm an engineer by trade and therefore mostly spend my working days figuring out solutions to problems, optimizing processes and convincing other people that the way I want to do it is the best way to do it. I can't just stop doing so at home, can I? And there's no point in telling me that "you've changed man, it used to be about the music", Mr. Hippie, you weren't born a guitar up your arse either, it just became located there some 20 years later. Everyone changes, all the time.
Friday, April 18, 2008
The quickest blog entry in the world
Ok, I'm going to have to be very fast and efficient here. I guess I have approximately... damn, shouldn't have written "approximately", "about" would have been much faster to write and done the same thing, but yeah, approximately 4 minutes to write this entry. That's because my kid is not asleep yet and I'll have to go put him to sleep soon. So I'll just give you a short status report on moi, instead of the volumes 1-20 on household cleaning tips that I would like to write:
- My laptop broke and was being serviced. What an awful 10 days that was.
- I got a new bicycle. Sweet! So far the top time from home to work (or vice versa) is 4:47 (1.6 km).
- Our family has, apparently, moved to the upper class: we're having somebody coming to clean up our apartment tomorrow. From window washing to floor scrubbing. I can't wait. I like cleaning, but lately there's been no time to do it. And if it is affordable to buy as a service, then hey, why not.
- Oh great, now my wife got the kid to sleep and came to stand behind me. How am I going to write anything now.
- Hmmm. I was just thinking that... honey, I'll clean up the toilet tomorrow, there's no reason to do it now, it's late and... oh, never mind, I'll do it now.
- Yeesh. I wonder whether or not one can improve their concentration capability by practicing. If, for example, one would try to concentrate on complex stuff in a noisy environment for a long time, would they get better at it? I think so, based on empiric experiments.
- I would like to have sex. I wonder if that's possible.
- My laptop broke and was being serviced. What an awful 10 days that was.
- I got a new bicycle. Sweet! So far the top time from home to work (or vice versa) is 4:47 (1.6 km).
- Our family has, apparently, moved to the upper class: we're having somebody coming to clean up our apartment tomorrow. From window washing to floor scrubbing. I can't wait. I like cleaning, but lately there's been no time to do it. And if it is affordable to buy as a service, then hey, why not.
- Oh great, now my wife got the kid to sleep and came to stand behind me. How am I going to write anything now.
- Hmmm. I was just thinking that... honey, I'll clean up the toilet tomorrow, there's no reason to do it now, it's late and... oh, never mind, I'll do it now.
- Yeesh. I wonder whether or not one can improve their concentration capability by practicing. If, for example, one would try to concentrate on complex stuff in a noisy environment for a long time, would they get better at it? I think so, based on empiric experiments.
- I would like to have sex. I wonder if that's possible.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
The meaning of life
Tonight I thought that I'd give you an answer to the question that has been plaguing mankind for ages: the meaning of life, that is. Because, you know, it just came to me one night, and I'd like to share it to y'all. Sorry about the lack of funniness in this post, but I'm sober, and the topic is kind of grandiose, so maybe it's best to approach it seriously.
The meaning of life in general
The meaning of life is to evolve and spread. As far as is understood currently, life on Earth has evolved from some kind of primordial ooze to ever more complex forms, like plants, animals and humans. At the same time life has spread from a single organism in a primordial sea to zillions of organisms all around the world. Therefore it would seem obvious that the purpose of life is to keep on evolving and expanding. Lifeforms will become more complex and better (whatever that is). Life will spread to other planets (if it isn't there already).
The meaning of life - a human
The meaning of the life of an individual human being is to support the evolution and spreading of life in general. Therefore one should aspire to educate himself/herself, aid the progress of the human kind and to reproduce. The advancement of scientific progress might be the most direct way to aid the evolution of life for a human being. However, not all of us are scientists. Even by just being a living organism you are a part of the process of evolution. Remember, evolution is a very slow process, it takes forever. Literally.
Note that when I'm talking about evolution I'm actually talking about two things here: the natural evolution of organisms and the evolution of the scientific knowledge of humans. The former just happens by itself. The latter helps the expansion of life (because we learn to use natural resources more efficiently and can migrate to other planets, so there will be more room and better living conditions for more organisms), but also, in my opinion, enables humans to evolve into different, and hopefully better, forms of life. And possibly create new lifeforms. Just think about artificial intelligence, for example.
The meaning of life - myself
But what about the meaning of your life? I don't know that. But as an example, I'll try to define what could be the meaning of my life, in order to help you defining your own meaning.
Well, the reproduction part is easy. I should have kids. I have one already and I'd like to have more. The next one could be a girl, and possibly red-haired. Also, I'll have to work in order to be able to provide adequate living conditions for my kids. And furthermore, I'll have to be a good parent and try to raise my offspring as well as possible. I'll also try to encourage my kids to get as good an education as possible.
The advancement of the progress of the human kind is slightly more difficult. It seems unlikely that I'll achieve any scientific breakthroughs in the near future. But as a software engineer, I'd like to think that maybe I can advance the development of software engineering methods and/or technology, just a little bit, during my working career. Or at least advance the development of the software profession by acting as an user and a tester of software products designed by smarter people. Think about it: nearly anything can be seen as beneficial to the scientific advancement of the human kind. By taking an aspirin I'll act as a human guinea pig for the pharmaceutical industry, and therefore aid the development of pharmaceuticals. By belching and picking my nose on the sofa I can act as a warning example to my kid, who'll then decide to do better than me and apply to the university.
The meaning of life in general
The meaning of life is to evolve and spread. As far as is understood currently, life on Earth has evolved from some kind of primordial ooze to ever more complex forms, like plants, animals and humans. At the same time life has spread from a single organism in a primordial sea to zillions of organisms all around the world. Therefore it would seem obvious that the purpose of life is to keep on evolving and expanding. Lifeforms will become more complex and better (whatever that is). Life will spread to other planets (if it isn't there already).
The meaning of life - a human
The meaning of the life of an individual human being is to support the evolution and spreading of life in general. Therefore one should aspire to educate himself/herself, aid the progress of the human kind and to reproduce. The advancement of scientific progress might be the most direct way to aid the evolution of life for a human being. However, not all of us are scientists. Even by just being a living organism you are a part of the process of evolution. Remember, evolution is a very slow process, it takes forever. Literally.
Note that when I'm talking about evolution I'm actually talking about two things here: the natural evolution of organisms and the evolution of the scientific knowledge of humans. The former just happens by itself. The latter helps the expansion of life (because we learn to use natural resources more efficiently and can migrate to other planets, so there will be more room and better living conditions for more organisms), but also, in my opinion, enables humans to evolve into different, and hopefully better, forms of life. And possibly create new lifeforms. Just think about artificial intelligence, for example.
The meaning of life - myself
But what about the meaning of your life? I don't know that. But as an example, I'll try to define what could be the meaning of my life, in order to help you defining your own meaning.
Well, the reproduction part is easy. I should have kids. I have one already and I'd like to have more. The next one could be a girl, and possibly red-haired. Also, I'll have to work in order to be able to provide adequate living conditions for my kids. And furthermore, I'll have to be a good parent and try to raise my offspring as well as possible. I'll also try to encourage my kids to get as good an education as possible.
The advancement of the progress of the human kind is slightly more difficult. It seems unlikely that I'll achieve any scientific breakthroughs in the near future. But as a software engineer, I'd like to think that maybe I can advance the development of software engineering methods and/or technology, just a little bit, during my working career. Or at least advance the development of the software profession by acting as an user and a tester of software products designed by smarter people. Think about it: nearly anything can be seen as beneficial to the scientific advancement of the human kind. By taking an aspirin I'll act as a human guinea pig for the pharmaceutical industry, and therefore aid the development of pharmaceuticals. By belching and picking my nose on the sofa I can act as a warning example to my kid, who'll then decide to do better than me and apply to the university.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Communication eras
Good evening, the elderly, and yo, the youth. Tonight I thought it'd be interesting to talk about... oh, wait a minute, this is the boring blog. Hmm... why don't I ponder on, say, communication.
I recently noticed that in the short span (at least on the cosmologic scale) of my existence so far, the way people have communicated with each other has clearly changed every now and then, usually following a technological breakthrough. So here's the history, and the present, of communication between the members of the human kind, in a nicely compact form, as observed by me.
1) The prehistory
As I understand it, before the seventies, people communicated mostly by grunting, throwing potatoes at their neighbours and writing tacky love songs to chicks in mini skirts. And centuries ago, there might have been some distinguished poets too, who wrote some love poems or whatever. With a pen made out of a feather.
2) The Kekkonen era
In the countryside, people just walked into their neighbours homes, sat on the bench and waited to be served some coffee. Then they might have talked a bit, if the coffee was good enough. Letters were sent to relatives a couple of times a year. The telephone was invented, but it was mainly used to ask relatives if the letter had arrived yet.
Music was recorded on LP records, which were large, unpractical and expensive. Kids mostly copied LP records on C-cassettes, if they could afford blank ones, and were lucky enough to know somebody who actually owned some music. The rest of us played with matches, cows made out of pinecones and the popular computer C-64, which required copying games on C-cassettes.
3) Late eighties, early nineties
Sometime later, the CD record was invented. Unfortunately, nobody knew anyone who'd actually seen one.
Popular forms of communicating with other people were passing paper notes in the classroom and barfing on the shoes of the one you were attracted to in the local disco. The telephone continued to be frightening and the letters continued to be infrequent.
4) The doorbell era
The cellular telephone was invented. Anybody who owned one was swiftly kicked in the nuts for being an arrogant yuppie, making it ineffective as a means of communication.
A popular way to communicate was to go to a person's home and ring the doorbell. If they were home, communication could happen, provided that enough beer was brought by the visiting person. Letters were still sent to persons living in other cities, but the amount of beer that could be attached to a letter was insufficient to guarantee any real communication.
An extraordinary means of communication was invented in Finland: by standing up in the sauna and farting on the face of the person next to you appreciation could be expressed and a lifetime bond could be engaged. Lots of communication ensued.
5) The text message era
In the nineties, cellular phones became affordable, and therefore could be owned by regular people. Telephoning still continued to be synchronous, and therefore uncomfortable to some people, except when drunk. However, text messaging, being asynchronous and inexpensive, quickly became widely popular.
In the nineties, personal computers were quite common, but Internet connections were expensive and slow. Therefore computers were mostly used in communication in two ways:
1) Writing a letter on the computer, then saving the document on a floppy disk and sending the disk to the recipient by mail
2) Ringing the doorbell of a computer owner, then playing a two-player computer game with them using the same keyboard (provided that the amount of beer was sufficient).
6) The dotcom era
The Internet connections became affordable. Sending letters via e-mail finally made sending pieces of paper stained with ink through mail obsolete. Chat applications made synchronous communication available through the computer. Synchronous communication still required drunkenness, at least in Finland.
7) The web 2.0 era
The appearance of online communities, like Facebook, made communication easier. You didn't have to know the email address of a person, you could look them up using the search functionality of the community. By blogging you could inform your friends of the recent events in your life, without forcing them to being informed. By doing at least something in Facebook, you could signal your friends and relatives that you are alive.
As a conclusion, the means of communication we have today are plentiful:
a) synchronous, real-time communication (farting on the face, talking on the coffee, talking on the phone)
b) asynchronous communication, provider model (text messaging, email)
c) asynchronous communication, subscriber model (spying on other people in Facebook, RSS).
I recently noticed that in the short span (at least on the cosmologic scale) of my existence so far, the way people have communicated with each other has clearly changed every now and then, usually following a technological breakthrough. So here's the history, and the present, of communication between the members of the human kind, in a nicely compact form, as observed by me.
1) The prehistory
As I understand it, before the seventies, people communicated mostly by grunting, throwing potatoes at their neighbours and writing tacky love songs to chicks in mini skirts. And centuries ago, there might have been some distinguished poets too, who wrote some love poems or whatever. With a pen made out of a feather.
2) The Kekkonen era
In the countryside, people just walked into their neighbours homes, sat on the bench and waited to be served some coffee. Then they might have talked a bit, if the coffee was good enough. Letters were sent to relatives a couple of times a year. The telephone was invented, but it was mainly used to ask relatives if the letter had arrived yet.
Music was recorded on LP records, which were large, unpractical and expensive. Kids mostly copied LP records on C-cassettes, if they could afford blank ones, and were lucky enough to know somebody who actually owned some music. The rest of us played with matches, cows made out of pinecones and the popular computer C-64, which required copying games on C-cassettes.
3) Late eighties, early nineties
Sometime later, the CD record was invented. Unfortunately, nobody knew anyone who'd actually seen one.
Popular forms of communicating with other people were passing paper notes in the classroom and barfing on the shoes of the one you were attracted to in the local disco. The telephone continued to be frightening and the letters continued to be infrequent.
4) The doorbell era
The cellular telephone was invented. Anybody who owned one was swiftly kicked in the nuts for being an arrogant yuppie, making it ineffective as a means of communication.
A popular way to communicate was to go to a person's home and ring the doorbell. If they were home, communication could happen, provided that enough beer was brought by the visiting person. Letters were still sent to persons living in other cities, but the amount of beer that could be attached to a letter was insufficient to guarantee any real communication.
An extraordinary means of communication was invented in Finland: by standing up in the sauna and farting on the face of the person next to you appreciation could be expressed and a lifetime bond could be engaged. Lots of communication ensued.
5) The text message era
In the nineties, cellular phones became affordable, and therefore could be owned by regular people. Telephoning still continued to be synchronous, and therefore uncomfortable to some people, except when drunk. However, text messaging, being asynchronous and inexpensive, quickly became widely popular.
In the nineties, personal computers were quite common, but Internet connections were expensive and slow. Therefore computers were mostly used in communication in two ways:
1) Writing a letter on the computer, then saving the document on a floppy disk and sending the disk to the recipient by mail
2) Ringing the doorbell of a computer owner, then playing a two-player computer game with them using the same keyboard (provided that the amount of beer was sufficient).
6) The dotcom era
The Internet connections became affordable. Sending letters via e-mail finally made sending pieces of paper stained with ink through mail obsolete. Chat applications made synchronous communication available through the computer. Synchronous communication still required drunkenness, at least in Finland.
7) The web 2.0 era
The appearance of online communities, like Facebook, made communication easier. You didn't have to know the email address of a person, you could look them up using the search functionality of the community. By blogging you could inform your friends of the recent events in your life, without forcing them to being informed. By doing at least something in Facebook, you could signal your friends and relatives that you are alive.
As a conclusion, the means of communication we have today are plentiful:
a) synchronous, real-time communication (farting on the face, talking on the coffee, talking on the phone)
b) asynchronous communication, provider model (text messaging, email)
c) asynchronous communication, subscriber model (spying on other people in Facebook, RSS).
Friday, February 01, 2008
Political rant
The bourgeoisie. Or the right wing in the political field, whatever you like to call them. I can't understand them. To me, to declare oneself as bourgeois, is about as offensive as to admit to being racist or Nazi. It's as if you'd tell everyone that you like to inflict pain on other people and watch them suffer. It's like declaring yourself as superior to the common people. It's like saying that I'm entitled to own a SUV, you're not, and maybe you can wipe my windshield in the traffic lights but I'll spit in your face and drive over your toes when the light turns green.
It might be just my fault. Maybe I've got it all wrong. It could be that the right wing just has not been able to get their message across to me. It might be that I've just been brainwashed enough by my parents so that I can't see anything good about them. But it's funny, because I think that I should be in their target audience. I'm urban and relatively white collar, but still I don't get their message. But do I even know what they are advocating or am I blinded by my prejudice?
Let's see.... the site www.kokoomus.fi (the web pages of the most popular national right wing party) is as mind-numbingly boring as you'd except from a mainstream political party. The only provocative thing that I can see is a news item about Kokoomus members being active in some kind of church-related election. Yeah, way to lick the elderly conservatives. It seems that I'll just have to compress their political program myself:
1) I'm better than you, because I do (or will) earn more money than you, and therefore more privileged
2) Things should be kept that way, forever. Oh yeah, and my kids are better than you, too.
To me it seems that they're really wanting to preserve class society. Like, we're the factory owners, you're the workers, and we're going to rip you off. I can't understand why anybody who doesn't own at least one factory would vote right wing. But yet large masses of people do. Haven't they realized that, by definition, the masses can't be elite? And, as a result of this logic, the bourgeoisie, who should be a minority, are ruling. Democracy doesn't work. And it's our fault.
To me, the most uncomprehensible thing in the political field is the young conservative. It's an oxymoron of a kind. Like "currently I'm slaving as a clerk at this kiosk (because I'm studying business related stuff), but I'm aiming to be the head of a conglomerate some day, so I'll vote conservative, instead of the party that would like to improve my working conditions". "I'm the future dictator, so I'll support the current dictator, even though he'll probably cut my head off."
But then again, what are the alternatives? I don't know. The left wing does not fill me with trust (0ne youthful candidate is not going to do it). I'm not half swedish or a religious nutcase. The green party might be just a decoy for the urban conservatives, and their best guy just left. Where is the political party with fresh ideas and no past ballast?
Non-voting is seeming to look a like an option here. And maybe some brick-hurling would be in place...
It might be just my fault. Maybe I've got it all wrong. It could be that the right wing just has not been able to get their message across to me. It might be that I've just been brainwashed enough by my parents so that I can't see anything good about them. But it's funny, because I think that I should be in their target audience. I'm urban and relatively white collar, but still I don't get their message. But do I even know what they are advocating or am I blinded by my prejudice?
Let's see.... the site www.kokoomus.fi (the web pages of the most popular national right wing party) is as mind-numbingly boring as you'd except from a mainstream political party. The only provocative thing that I can see is a news item about Kokoomus members being active in some kind of church-related election. Yeah, way to lick the elderly conservatives. It seems that I'll just have to compress their political program myself:
1) I'm better than you, because I do (or will) earn more money than you, and therefore more privileged
2) Things should be kept that way, forever. Oh yeah, and my kids are better than you, too.
To me it seems that they're really wanting to preserve class society. Like, we're the factory owners, you're the workers, and we're going to rip you off. I can't understand why anybody who doesn't own at least one factory would vote right wing. But yet large masses of people do. Haven't they realized that, by definition, the masses can't be elite? And, as a result of this logic, the bourgeoisie, who should be a minority, are ruling. Democracy doesn't work. And it's our fault.
To me, the most uncomprehensible thing in the political field is the young conservative. It's an oxymoron of a kind. Like "currently I'm slaving as a clerk at this kiosk (because I'm studying business related stuff), but I'm aiming to be the head of a conglomerate some day, so I'll vote conservative, instead of the party that would like to improve my working conditions". "I'm the future dictator, so I'll support the current dictator, even though he'll probably cut my head off."
But then again, what are the alternatives? I don't know. The left wing does not fill me with trust (0ne youthful candidate is not going to do it). I'm not half swedish or a religious nutcase. The green party might be just a decoy for the urban conservatives, and their best guy just left. Where is the political party with fresh ideas and no past ballast?
Non-voting is seeming to look a like an option here. And maybe some brick-hurling would be in place...
Friday, January 04, 2008
A financial review of the year 2007
Wowee. It seems that lately, my readership has multiplied to staggering new heights. On some days as many as 4 people have visited my blog! Hopefully I'm not getting stage fright. Or starting to censor my more radical opinions subconsciously. I mean, it's a responsible position to have such huge audience, part of which might consist of young, easily influenced minds. So, as a disclaimer, I'd like to underline that I'm not advocating programming, as a hobby or a profession, to just anybody. A wildly exciting thing such as programming also has its downsides and is not suitable, in my opinion, for the faint at heart.
It seems that my recent writings have slipped to some kind of feeble attempts at humour, so today I thought I'd get back to the very essence of this blog: boring musing on strict, hard, insignificant facts. And more specifically, numbers. Because, man, I like numbers. Therefore I keep track of my income and expenses closely and have a jolly good time at the end of each year when I get to summarize my accounting and compare it to the previous year. So here's a short analysis of my financial situation in the year 2007.
Income
My income in the last year consisted, unsurprisingly, mainly of pay from work. The profits of my investment activity (or more accurately, the deposit interest of my bank account) were a mere 0,0003 % of my total net income. That's sad. It means that my income was earned by working hard myself, instead of leeching off on hard work performed by other people, which I think I might be able to enjoy.
All except 0,11 % percent of my income was spent during the year. It might indicate that my budget is too tight. For certain it indicates that I'm not overpaid.
The cost of living
About 45 % of my income was spent on living expenses, i.e. mortgage payments, apartment maintenance charges and electricity. Damn. If living here wasn't so expensive, I might actually have some spare cash sometimes. But let's not forget that the mortgage payments, which were about 32 % of my total income, are a form of investment. Whew. At least some of my money has not disappeared to thin air, down the drain, or become a spare tire around my waist.
Food & household expenses
From 21 % to 25 % of my income last year was spent on food and other household expenses (cleaning products, pharmaceuticals, diapers, furniture and various stuff). I'm not sure of the exact percentage because my accounting system is not precise enough. Of all my expenses, this probably is the one that could be decreased the most. By buying cheaper ingredients and preparing more foods myself I could probably save significant amounts of money. But on the other hand, a family with a small kid doesn't always have the time to cook elaborate meals. By eating frozen pizzas and ready made baby food lot of stress can be avoided. But yeah, I should cut down on the caviar and the condor egg omelettes. Mmm... a couple of those would be tasty right now...
Transportation expenses
Last year, nearly 5 % of my income was spent on car related expenses. That seems kind of expensive, given that I don't really drive that much. But if I would have given in and bought a new, expensive car the percentage would be a lot bigger. There probably is not much to save here: if I didn't own a car, the corresponding sum (or more) would be spent on train, aviation and other public transport tickets by the family. And hey, it's less than in 2006, probably because of cheaper insurance (more bonus).
Entertainment
Then to the fun part. In 2007, I spent less than 2 % of my income on alcoholic beverages and eating at restaurants. That's not much, eh?
My clothing and beauty treatment expenses in 2007 were slightly over 1 %. In the future, it will hopefully be less, because I finally bought a home barber kit. In your face, barber industry, from now on I'm doing it myself!
On music records I spent 0,25 % of my income. That's ridiculously little for a music enthusiast! Hmm. Can I still be called a music enthusiast?
Then some 12 % of my income was spent on miscellaneous expenses, most of which belong to the household category. I see my accounting system (an Excel spreadsheet) has room for improvement.
Conclusion
Once again, 2007 was a financially succesful year, I might say, based on these undeniable facts:
- the family got to live in a house
- nourishment was adequate
- no vital organs had to be sold to fund expenses
- the amount of debt decreased instead of increasing.
In 2008, I hope to achieve the same goals, and additionally I hope to be able to invest more on entertainment. Family entertainment, that is.
It seems that my recent writings have slipped to some kind of feeble attempts at humour, so today I thought I'd get back to the very essence of this blog: boring musing on strict, hard, insignificant facts. And more specifically, numbers. Because, man, I like numbers. Therefore I keep track of my income and expenses closely and have a jolly good time at the end of each year when I get to summarize my accounting and compare it to the previous year. So here's a short analysis of my financial situation in the year 2007.
Income
My income in the last year consisted, unsurprisingly, mainly of pay from work. The profits of my investment activity (or more accurately, the deposit interest of my bank account) were a mere 0,0003 % of my total net income. That's sad. It means that my income was earned by working hard myself, instead of leeching off on hard work performed by other people, which I think I might be able to enjoy.
All except 0,11 % percent of my income was spent during the year. It might indicate that my budget is too tight. For certain it indicates that I'm not overpaid.
The cost of living
About 45 % of my income was spent on living expenses, i.e. mortgage payments, apartment maintenance charges and electricity. Damn. If living here wasn't so expensive, I might actually have some spare cash sometimes. But let's not forget that the mortgage payments, which were about 32 % of my total income, are a form of investment. Whew. At least some of my money has not disappeared to thin air, down the drain, or become a spare tire around my waist.
Food & household expenses
From 21 % to 25 % of my income last year was spent on food and other household expenses (cleaning products, pharmaceuticals, diapers, furniture and various stuff). I'm not sure of the exact percentage because my accounting system is not precise enough. Of all my expenses, this probably is the one that could be decreased the most. By buying cheaper ingredients and preparing more foods myself I could probably save significant amounts of money. But on the other hand, a family with a small kid doesn't always have the time to cook elaborate meals. By eating frozen pizzas and ready made baby food lot of stress can be avoided. But yeah, I should cut down on the caviar and the condor egg omelettes. Mmm... a couple of those would be tasty right now...
Transportation expenses
Last year, nearly 5 % of my income was spent on car related expenses. That seems kind of expensive, given that I don't really drive that much. But if I would have given in and bought a new, expensive car the percentage would be a lot bigger. There probably is not much to save here: if I didn't own a car, the corresponding sum (or more) would be spent on train, aviation and other public transport tickets by the family. And hey, it's less than in 2006, probably because of cheaper insurance (more bonus).
Entertainment
Then to the fun part. In 2007, I spent less than 2 % of my income on alcoholic beverages and eating at restaurants. That's not much, eh?
My clothing and beauty treatment expenses in 2007 were slightly over 1 %. In the future, it will hopefully be less, because I finally bought a home barber kit. In your face, barber industry, from now on I'm doing it myself!
On music records I spent 0,25 % of my income. That's ridiculously little for a music enthusiast! Hmm. Can I still be called a music enthusiast?
Then some 12 % of my income was spent on miscellaneous expenses, most of which belong to the household category. I see my accounting system (an Excel spreadsheet) has room for improvement.
Conclusion
Once again, 2007 was a financially succesful year, I might say, based on these undeniable facts:
- the family got to live in a house
- nourishment was adequate
- no vital organs had to be sold to fund expenses
- the amount of debt decreased instead of increasing.
In 2008, I hope to achieve the same goals, and additionally I hope to be able to invest more on entertainment. Family entertainment, that is.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Art cricket
And now for something completely different. I'd like to extend my repertoire to art critique. So here's a review of an art exhibition opening I happened to stumble upon. It was in a small gallery at the Helsinki airport. I think that the artist's name was W. C. Gents. At least that's what a sign on the door said.
The gallery was decorated in a rather cold and sterile way, not unlike, say, a public toilet. The exhibition seemed to be themed around sanitation. Many of the works were constructed out of everyday materials that can be found in public spaces: mirrors, paper towels, some kind of stalls and even urinals. There were interesting pictures painted straight on tiled walls with some kind of an earthy substance. Somewhat large constructions, "toilet stalls", which they resembled, were decorated with graffiti-like ornaments that looked like they were drawn with a regular felt pen.
I think that the artist has received much of his influences from the legendary Marcel Duchamp, maybe even to such extent that could be considered plagiarism. But not by yours truly, I thought the row of regular urinals was a great statement and a homage to the great artist. But the toilet seats in the "stalls", as I like to call them, were maybe too much. One even contained a mass of a substance that closely resembled human excrement and even smelled like it. I have no idea what the artist was trying to say with that piece. But the doors of the "stalls", as I mentioned earlier, were covered with beautiful, thought-provoking inscriptions. Some were political ("USA go home"), some just mysterious ("Kilroy was here"), but nevertheless I was impressed by the many talents of the artist: not only a sculptor and a painter, but a poet as well!
I must complain about the servings at the opening though. Only a single bubblegum vending machine and tap water were available. And the bubblegum was the worst I've ever had: ridiculously expensive (2 €) for a single piece of bubblegum, unbelievably stringy and unpleasantly latexy in taste. I'll never have another piece of that Durex brand bubblegum.
And I must mention that I've never before seen such a vulgar crowd in an art exhibition, and I've visited at least three. The people just rushed through the exhibition, were reluctant to discuss about the works of art or taste the servings. A couple of particularly insolent characters even tried to urinate into the pieces on display! Luckily I was there to stop them by standing next to them and eyeing them with great disapproval.
The opening culminated nicely with an interactive performance by a male artist, possibly W. C. Gents himself. He was dressed as a security guard and played the role really convincingly, even to the point of almost scaring me. Of all people, he chose me as his partner in the performance. He came to me, looking quite muscular and burly, and demanded that I leave the facility instantly. Naturally, I played along, by calling him a "faggot", telling him "don't you know who I am" and trying to grope his groin playfully. Then came the really intense, socially commenting part of the performance, as he twisted my arm behind my back, lead me out of the airport and threw me out on the street. It must have looked very realistic to the spectators, judging by the looks on their faces, but I got up smiling and bowed to the audience, even though I was rather bruised and bleeding in the face. All in all, the exhibition was an interesting statement from a relatively unknown new artist and featured several possible future classic pieces of art. And I must say that I feel absolutely privileged of getting to participate in such a great performance!
The gallery was decorated in a rather cold and sterile way, not unlike, say, a public toilet. The exhibition seemed to be themed around sanitation. Many of the works were constructed out of everyday materials that can be found in public spaces: mirrors, paper towels, some kind of stalls and even urinals. There were interesting pictures painted straight on tiled walls with some kind of an earthy substance. Somewhat large constructions, "toilet stalls", which they resembled, were decorated with graffiti-like ornaments that looked like they were drawn with a regular felt pen.
I think that the artist has received much of his influences from the legendary Marcel Duchamp, maybe even to such extent that could be considered plagiarism. But not by yours truly, I thought the row of regular urinals was a great statement and a homage to the great artist. But the toilet seats in the "stalls", as I like to call them, were maybe too much. One even contained a mass of a substance that closely resembled human excrement and even smelled like it. I have no idea what the artist was trying to say with that piece. But the doors of the "stalls", as I mentioned earlier, were covered with beautiful, thought-provoking inscriptions. Some were political ("USA go home"), some just mysterious ("Kilroy was here"), but nevertheless I was impressed by the many talents of the artist: not only a sculptor and a painter, but a poet as well!
I must complain about the servings at the opening though. Only a single bubblegum vending machine and tap water were available. And the bubblegum was the worst I've ever had: ridiculously expensive (2 €) for a single piece of bubblegum, unbelievably stringy and unpleasantly latexy in taste. I'll never have another piece of that Durex brand bubblegum.
And I must mention that I've never before seen such a vulgar crowd in an art exhibition, and I've visited at least three. The people just rushed through the exhibition, were reluctant to discuss about the works of art or taste the servings. A couple of particularly insolent characters even tried to urinate into the pieces on display! Luckily I was there to stop them by standing next to them and eyeing them with great disapproval.
The opening culminated nicely with an interactive performance by a male artist, possibly W. C. Gents himself. He was dressed as a security guard and played the role really convincingly, even to the point of almost scaring me. Of all people, he chose me as his partner in the performance. He came to me, looking quite muscular and burly, and demanded that I leave the facility instantly. Naturally, I played along, by calling him a "faggot", telling him "don't you know who I am" and trying to grope his groin playfully. Then came the really intense, socially commenting part of the performance, as he twisted my arm behind my back, lead me out of the airport and threw me out on the street. It must have looked very realistic to the spectators, judging by the looks on their faces, but I got up smiling and bowed to the audience, even though I was rather bruised and bleeding in the face. All in all, the exhibition was an interesting statement from a relatively unknown new artist and featured several possible future classic pieces of art. And I must say that I feel absolutely privileged of getting to participate in such a great performance!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
So lonely
I realise that it's been almost a year since my first blog post now. It's been an interesting scientific experiment, in a way. Mostly, I'm surprised about the lack of response. And, in a way, not surprised at all. There are billions of blogs in the universe, and I, for one, don't surf random blogs. Even though I realise it's interesting. I just don't have the time. But, based on a counter, which I don't find very reliable at all, it seems that I've had less than one readers a day during the ongoing year. And also, I find myself wanting to get feedback on my posts. And also, wanting to feel that there is a readership.
Looking back, I've found nothing incriminating in my posts. Also, there are very few things that I couldn't let my mother know about. And also, some might say, that I don't communicate enough. Not to mention that hardly any real names of real persons have been mentioned.
Therefore, I've decided to leak the URL to a certain bunch of friends. And threaten them with violence, should they misuse it. We'll see in the end of 2008, if there'll be any difference in the counter statistics.
Looking back, I've found nothing incriminating in my posts. Also, there are very few things that I couldn't let my mother know about. And also, some might say, that I don't communicate enough. Not to mention that hardly any real names of real persons have been mentioned.
Therefore, I've decided to leak the URL to a certain bunch of friends. And threaten them with violence, should they misuse it. We'll see in the end of 2008, if there'll be any difference in the counter statistics.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
News and the weather
Good evening. I’m Josh Truly and this is today’s news and the weather. Maybe it's best for everyone if I admit up front that I am not wearing any pants whatsoever, as is usual for us news anchors. And on to today's topics.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Various excuses
Well. I sat down to write, but I can't seem to squeeze out a real post. Here's an assortment of excuses (one of these is real, the others I just made up, guess which is which):
1) Facebook is just too addictive
2) I had a real good topic, but I'm too drunk now to finish it
3) Insane schedules at work, caused constipation
4) The lettet "t" came loose in my keyboatd
5) I just can't get work-related problems out of my mind
6) I keep worrying about my brother, who's grown a moustache
7) The lack of real problems because I'm just too well-off
8) A skewer through the brains
9) Existential anxiety attack
10) Meaning of life solved, everything else meaningless.
The first one to guess right gets a free, non-banana gift!
1) Facebook is just too addictive
2) I had a real good topic, but I'm too drunk now to finish it
3) Insane schedules at work, caused constipation
4) The lettet "t" came loose in my keyboatd
5) I just can't get work-related problems out of my mind
6) I keep worrying about my brother, who's grown a moustache
7) The lack of real problems because I'm just too well-off
8) A skewer through the brains
9) Existential anxiety attack
10) Meaning of life solved, everything else meaningless.
The first one to guess right gets a free, non-banana gift!
Friday, October 05, 2007
Dressing up
Lately, I haven't given much thought to what to wear to work. I haven't had the time or energy for such matters. Most mornings, I just grab some mouldy old junk from the nearest pile. Usually, it's jeans and a shirt. One day it was a wooden barrel and suspenders. Boy, that was a horrible day.
Maybe I should dress sharper. I'm not sure if it matters. Most men at the company I work in wear suits and ties. Then again, most of them are sales guys or something, while most men in IT wear jeans and T-shirts. So why would it matter? Would it help me advance in my career? I don't know. I think that for a male programmer, there are basically four options:
1) Dress really sharp. Wear suits and ties, only wear jeans to really casual events. This is okay for managers and sales guys, but if you're neither, you take the risk of looking like a prat. And technical people never look really sharp (evidence). If they do, they are probably technically rubbish wannabe managers.
2) Dress somewhat sharp. Wear mostly pressed trousers and shirts. Wear jeans if you like, but if you do, make sure that they are clean, new and not too hip. This makes you look respectable to people who don't know you, and does not alienate technical people.
3) Dress comfortably and practically. Wear jeans, T-shirts, hiking gear and such. This is a common practice for technical people, but business people might not take you seriously in some matters. Usually it does not matter though, because style is not expected from technical people.
4) Dress originally. Look like Marilyn Manson. Or wear a wooden barrel held up by suspenders, whatever you like. This causes you to alienate everyone in a business environment.
Lately I've coasted near option no. 3, but I would like to sharpen it up a notch. I don't know exactly why, though. Maybe I just want to show that I'm one sharp guy, even in the dressing department. Maybe I'm pepping up for the oncoming, overdue salary readjustment. Maybe I'm just perversely attracted to stiff, Dilbertian corporate culture. Yeah, I admit that.
Also, as a male engineer in his thirties, and therefore an expert in style matters, I'd like to offer some fashion tips for everyone:
1) Don't wear ankle-length leather jackets. You don't look like a character from The Matrix, you look like a prat. Unless you're the guitarist from Whitesnake, playing a solo on a hilltop, in front of a sunset, or a nazi officer in 30's Germany. Then they're kind of appropriate.
2) Stretch jeans don't look good on anyone. They are obligatory on glam rockers, they might look nice on hay pole thin female models, but they are just ridiculous on robust women and any adult men. Don't do it, please.
3) Less is the new black. I mean, less is the new more. And, logically, colours are the new black. Also, wimpy might be the new hard, but I'm not totally sure about that.
4) Don't worry about your appearance. When I was younger, I stood in front of a mirror a lot, unhappy, worrying. It didn't help at all. The only thing that helped was to forget about it and start doing something useful. Now I wish I'd done something worthwhile all that time.
5) I like skirts. On women that is.
6) Classic style rules. There is a good reason why it is classic.
And what do I look like? Why, something like this, of course:
(Image stolen ruthlessly without any kind of permission, or regrets, whatsoever.)
Maybe I should dress sharper. I'm not sure if it matters. Most men at the company I work in wear suits and ties. Then again, most of them are sales guys or something, while most men in IT wear jeans and T-shirts. So why would it matter? Would it help me advance in my career? I don't know. I think that for a male programmer, there are basically four options:
1) Dress really sharp. Wear suits and ties, only wear jeans to really casual events. This is okay for managers and sales guys, but if you're neither, you take the risk of looking like a prat. And technical people never look really sharp (evidence). If they do, they are probably technically rubbish wannabe managers.
2) Dress somewhat sharp. Wear mostly pressed trousers and shirts. Wear jeans if you like, but if you do, make sure that they are clean, new and not too hip. This makes you look respectable to people who don't know you, and does not alienate technical people.
3) Dress comfortably and practically. Wear jeans, T-shirts, hiking gear and such. This is a common practice for technical people, but business people might not take you seriously in some matters. Usually it does not matter though, because style is not expected from technical people.
4) Dress originally. Look like Marilyn Manson. Or wear a wooden barrel held up by suspenders, whatever you like. This causes you to alienate everyone in a business environment.
Lately I've coasted near option no. 3, but I would like to sharpen it up a notch. I don't know exactly why, though. Maybe I just want to show that I'm one sharp guy, even in the dressing department. Maybe I'm pepping up for the oncoming, overdue salary readjustment. Maybe I'm just perversely attracted to stiff, Dilbertian corporate culture. Yeah, I admit that.
Also, as a male engineer in his thirties, and therefore an expert in style matters, I'd like to offer some fashion tips for everyone:
1) Don't wear ankle-length leather jackets. You don't look like a character from The Matrix, you look like a prat. Unless you're the guitarist from Whitesnake, playing a solo on a hilltop, in front of a sunset, or a nazi officer in 30's Germany. Then they're kind of appropriate.
2) Stretch jeans don't look good on anyone. They are obligatory on glam rockers, they might look nice on hay pole thin female models, but they are just ridiculous on robust women and any adult men. Don't do it, please.
3) Less is the new black. I mean, less is the new more. And, logically, colours are the new black. Also, wimpy might be the new hard, but I'm not totally sure about that.
4) Don't worry about your appearance. When I was younger, I stood in front of a mirror a lot, unhappy, worrying. It didn't help at all. The only thing that helped was to forget about it and start doing something useful. Now I wish I'd done something worthwhile all that time.
5) I like skirts. On women that is.
6) Classic style rules. There is a good reason why it is classic.
And what do I look like? Why, something like this, of course:
(Image stolen ruthlessly without any kind of permission, or regrets, whatsoever.)
Friday, September 14, 2007
Exercise
I like exercise. I even like sports, to some degree. By exercise I mean the sports that you do yourself, and by sports I mean sports in general, as performed by other people. I used to hate sports. I still hate some of them, like ice hockey. Yechhh. I hate it because of its vulgarity and the general ugliness, drunkenness and belligerence of the audience that is drawn to it. And I can't understand why all sports announcers in television have really annoying voices. I guess it's required nowadays, but why, and by whom? Are they trying to impel people from sports for some reason?
But as I was saying, exercise is good for you. There are basically two ways to relate to exercise. Either you hate it or love it. Well, in reality, most people are probably in between, as they bloody well tend to be in all matters, but once again, I will simplify things to make them funnier.
I have a theory on exercise. I imagine the people who hate exercise also have one, and I think it goes like this: exercise is hard and it must be avoided to minimize the pain. My theory goes as follows: exercise is hard, but the more you do it, the easier it gets, and thus the pain is minimized. Think about it: if you always avoid taking the stairs, because you don't like becoming breathless, your physical condition will gradually deteriorate. But if you always take the stairs instead of the elevator, your physical condition will improve, and over time, you will not become breathless anymore. So basically, in the long term, you can't avoid pain by avoiding exercise. Well, I guess, theoretically, you could, but you'd have to gradually exercise less and less, and die very quickly (and somehow painlessly) after becoming unable to walk from the couch to the fridge because of this restriction.
I really like running. I've sometimes recommended running to other people, and among the reasons why they don't want to try it I've heard
- they don't like sweating
- it's hard, you become breathless, and so on
- they once saw a guy running in the summer and his face was really red and it looked painful.
Of course it's hard in the beginning. Anything is hard at first. Learning to walk takes a long time. When you learn how to ride a bicycle, you tend to fall over a lot. You don't know how to swim efficiently by instinct because you're not a fish. Everyone is not a web programmer, even though everyone's had a html course in school. Sorry, I digress.
When you begin running, you must practice a bit and start slowly. Eventually, you will become better at it and it won't be so hard anymore. And eventually, you will enjoy running. People exercise because it makes them feel good. Some of the ways that I feel good in after exercise are
- physical relaxation
- some kind of chemical euphoria (endorphines or something)
- moral superiority (because I exercised while you were munching chips on the couch, weren't you?)
- satisfaction of competitive instincts (because I ran faster than some fat beginners and a grandma on a bicycle)
- the knowledge that my lifespan is once again expanded and the rest of it is likely to be relatively pain-free.
Also, for the non-exercisers, I'd like to add that other benefits of exercising include
- not breaking a sweat because of eating
- not having to cough up your lungs because you ran 20 metres to catch a bus
- the heartattacks will diminish significantly.
I know, this might sound a bit patronising and contemptuous. But if you think about it, the superiority is also yours to take, free, or at least relatively cheap, at the price of decent running shoes. Well, I don't even know why I'm writing this, because judging by the excellent taste in the blogs you choose to read, you must be extremely attractive and probably also a triathlonist who could run, bicycle and swim circles around me. I just wrote it because I'm the man around here and I do whatever I feel like and... ok, honey, I'll come to bed right away.
But as I was saying, exercise is good for you. There are basically two ways to relate to exercise. Either you hate it or love it. Well, in reality, most people are probably in between, as they bloody well tend to be in all matters, but once again, I will simplify things to make them funnier.
I have a theory on exercise. I imagine the people who hate exercise also have one, and I think it goes like this: exercise is hard and it must be avoided to minimize the pain. My theory goes as follows: exercise is hard, but the more you do it, the easier it gets, and thus the pain is minimized. Think about it: if you always avoid taking the stairs, because you don't like becoming breathless, your physical condition will gradually deteriorate. But if you always take the stairs instead of the elevator, your physical condition will improve, and over time, you will not become breathless anymore. So basically, in the long term, you can't avoid pain by avoiding exercise. Well, I guess, theoretically, you could, but you'd have to gradually exercise less and less, and die very quickly (and somehow painlessly) after becoming unable to walk from the couch to the fridge because of this restriction.
I really like running. I've sometimes recommended running to other people, and among the reasons why they don't want to try it I've heard
- they don't like sweating
- it's hard, you become breathless, and so on
- they once saw a guy running in the summer and his face was really red and it looked painful.
Of course it's hard in the beginning. Anything is hard at first. Learning to walk takes a long time. When you learn how to ride a bicycle, you tend to fall over a lot. You don't know how to swim efficiently by instinct because you're not a fish. Everyone is not a web programmer, even though everyone's had a html course in school. Sorry, I digress.
When you begin running, you must practice a bit and start slowly. Eventually, you will become better at it and it won't be so hard anymore. And eventually, you will enjoy running. People exercise because it makes them feel good. Some of the ways that I feel good in after exercise are
- physical relaxation
- some kind of chemical euphoria (endorphines or something)
- moral superiority (because I exercised while you were munching chips on the couch, weren't you?)
- satisfaction of competitive instincts (because I ran faster than some fat beginners and a grandma on a bicycle)
- the knowledge that my lifespan is once again expanded and the rest of it is likely to be relatively pain-free.
Also, for the non-exercisers, I'd like to add that other benefits of exercising include
- not breaking a sweat because of eating
- not having to cough up your lungs because you ran 20 metres to catch a bus
- the heartattacks will diminish significantly.
I know, this might sound a bit patronising and contemptuous. But if you think about it, the superiority is also yours to take, free, or at least relatively cheap, at the price of decent running shoes. Well, I don't even know why I'm writing this, because judging by the excellent taste in the blogs you choose to read, you must be extremely attractive and probably also a triathlonist who could run, bicycle and swim circles around me. I just wrote it because I'm the man around here and I do whatever I feel like and... ok, honey, I'll come to bed right away.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Nature observation
Sigh. I live in a nice neighbourhood. Really nice. It's urban, yet it has a nice small village quality. It was even voted the cosiest neighbourhood (or something like that) in Finland last year. But now, the ecosystem is threatened, because apparently, this bird has nested here. I'm not exactly sure what it is, because I'm not an ornithologist, but if I am not mistaken, it is a representative of a variety of owl or something. If I remember correctly from biology lessons in school, it's distinguishing characteristics are a particularly ugly, screeching voice, frightening appearance and awful lyrics. These characteristics are enough to categorize it as a nuisance, but in addition the parasites usually swarming in its presence are known to be completely tasteless and have a bad 90's style rock sound.
Lately, there have been alarmingly many sightings of the bird in the neighbourhood. I suspect that the nest might be in the attic of a nearby house, because I've been keeping on hearing weird yodeling noises during the summer. Not to mention some strange smells, which also might, probably, originate from the pest. If it's not wiped out as soon as possible, I can imagine it aspiring to appear in every community festivity. Besides the obvious noise detriment, its peasant followers would be sure to flock in and definitely ruin any celebration for us respectable people.
I'm living in the hope that the species is migratory and will spend the winter in some other country, hopefully thousands of kilometres away. The further the better, and let's hope that its sense of direction is not too good. With some luck, it will not be able to navigate back. And for humanity's sake, let's hope that it will get lost forever in some desolate corner of the world totally devoid of any recording equipment.
Lately, there have been alarmingly many sightings of the bird in the neighbourhood. I suspect that the nest might be in the attic of a nearby house, because I've been keeping on hearing weird yodeling noises during the summer. Not to mention some strange smells, which also might, probably, originate from the pest. If it's not wiped out as soon as possible, I can imagine it aspiring to appear in every community festivity. Besides the obvious noise detriment, its peasant followers would be sure to flock in and definitely ruin any celebration for us respectable people.
I'm living in the hope that the species is migratory and will spend the winter in some other country, hopefully thousands of kilometres away. The further the better, and let's hope that its sense of direction is not too good. With some luck, it will not be able to navigate back. And for humanity's sake, let's hope that it will get lost forever in some desolate corner of the world totally devoid of any recording equipment.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Do I think I have the authority to instruct anyone about writing? Apparently, yes.
I feel the urge to write an article, but can't decide on the topic. I do have some topics, but none of them interests me enough at the moment. These include:
1) A review of the album The Good, The Bad & The Queen (which is my favourite piece of music at the moment, in fact I'm listening to it currently).
2) Something about computers, so I can brag about my shiny, new, very cool laptop.
3) Running (my favourite brand of sport).
4) Cycling (my other favourite brand of sport).
5) Housekeeping (to stay true to my chosen topic). Yawn.
6) A rant about the immense stupidity of coworkers is always nice.
7) Sex keeps on selling, but I hesitate to write about that, because I'm afraid friends and aqcuiantances will find this blog someday. And that might be awkward.
I will tackle all of these topics in time (with the exception of sex, unless explicitly requested by a huge mass of readers) but maybe I'll just muse on aimlessly tonight. Yeah, that should keep the reader(s) uninterested.
I remember a Finnish lesson from preliminary school. We were supposed to write essays, and I think that somebody complained that he/she can't think of anything to write about. So the teacher told us to write about small things. She told us not to embrace too large topics at once. Instead of trying to summarize the history, present and the future of mankind in your essay, take one moment in time, one city, one house and one brick in the facade of the house. Start writing about the brick. I think I wrote about my pencil. The essay became lengthy, and might I say, great. I wish I had it somewhere. Anyway, the lesson stuck in my mind. I think it was a great idea, and still is, and it might have been the most significant thing I learned in preliminary school. Well, besides the obvious stuff, like reading, writing, mathematics and manners. Oh wait, manners I didn't learn. F**k.
Scott Adams recently told us how to write funny in his blog. I think his writing is funny, but a bit too impertinent at times. But anyway, I couldn't agree more about one thing he said: write simple sentences. That works.
I have an ambition: I want to include as many different words as possible in the posts of this blog. I consciously try to use a broad vocabulary. I just wonder how many words there are in English, and how many of them I have used so far. Well, a bit of Googling suggests that English has about two hundred thousands words. Rats. I have a lot to write about left. How egregious.
So, it seems that this post is about writing. I've listed some (ok, all) of the principles I have about writing. There you have it: about small things, simply put, but with lots of fancy words. And apparently (ha! got to use that word), I seem to be able to write about nearly anything for a length. At least I'd like to think I can. If that's a requirement to be a professional writer, I'm nearly there. But probably they will require it to be interesting too. Damn!
Oh, and one more thing. When writing blog posts, I like to write the main text first, then add a witty opening paragraph and then think of the title. Must make up the title now.
1) A review of the album The Good, The Bad & The Queen (which is my favourite piece of music at the moment, in fact I'm listening to it currently).
2) Something about computers, so I can brag about my shiny, new, very cool laptop.
3) Running (my favourite brand of sport).
4) Cycling (my other favourite brand of sport).
5) Housekeeping (to stay true to my chosen topic). Yawn.
6) A rant about the immense stupidity of coworkers is always nice.
7) Sex keeps on selling, but I hesitate to write about that, because I'm afraid friends and aqcuiantances will find this blog someday. And that might be awkward.
I will tackle all of these topics in time (with the exception of sex, unless explicitly requested by a huge mass of readers) but maybe I'll just muse on aimlessly tonight. Yeah, that should keep the reader(s) uninterested.
I remember a Finnish lesson from preliminary school. We were supposed to write essays, and I think that somebody complained that he/she can't think of anything to write about. So the teacher told us to write about small things. She told us not to embrace too large topics at once. Instead of trying to summarize the history, present and the future of mankind in your essay, take one moment in time, one city, one house and one brick in the facade of the house. Start writing about the brick. I think I wrote about my pencil. The essay became lengthy, and might I say, great. I wish I had it somewhere. Anyway, the lesson stuck in my mind. I think it was a great idea, and still is, and it might have been the most significant thing I learned in preliminary school. Well, besides the obvious stuff, like reading, writing, mathematics and manners. Oh wait, manners I didn't learn. F**k.
Scott Adams recently told us how to write funny in his blog. I think his writing is funny, but a bit too impertinent at times. But anyway, I couldn't agree more about one thing he said: write simple sentences. That works.
I have an ambition: I want to include as many different words as possible in the posts of this blog. I consciously try to use a broad vocabulary. I just wonder how many words there are in English, and how many of them I have used so far. Well, a bit of Googling suggests that English has about two hundred thousands words. Rats. I have a lot to write about left. How egregious.
So, it seems that this post is about writing. I've listed some (ok, all) of the principles I have about writing. There you have it: about small things, simply put, but with lots of fancy words. And apparently (ha! got to use that word), I seem to be able to write about nearly anything for a length. At least I'd like to think I can. If that's a requirement to be a professional writer, I'm nearly there. But probably they will require it to be interesting too. Damn!
Oh, and one more thing. When writing blog posts, I like to write the main text first, then add a witty opening paragraph and then think of the title. Must make up the title now.
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