Art cricket

And now for something completely different. I'd like to extend my repertoire to art critique. So here's a review of an art exhibition opening I happened to stumble upon. It was in a small gallery at the Helsinki airport. I think that the artist's name was W. C. Gents. At least that's what a sign on the door said.

The gallery was decorated in a rather cold and sterile way, not unlike, say, a public toilet. The exhibition seemed to be themed around sanitation. Many of the works were constructed out of everyday materials that can be found in public spaces: mirrors, paper towels, some kind of stalls and even urinals. There were interesting pictures painted straight on tiled walls with some kind of an earthy substance. Somewhat large constructions, "toilet stalls", which they resembled, were decorated with graffiti-like ornaments that looked like they were drawn with a regular felt pen.

I think that the artist has received much of his influences from the legendary Marcel Duchamp, maybe even to such extent that could be considered plagiarism. But not by yours truly, I thought the row of regular urinals was a great statement and a homage to the great artist. But the toilet seats in the "stalls", as I like to call them, were maybe too much. One even contained a mass of a substance that closely resembled human excrement and even smelled like it. I have no idea what the artist was trying to say with that piece. But the doors of the "stalls", as I mentioned earlier, were covered with beautiful, thought-provoking inscriptions. Some were political ("USA go home"), some just mysterious ("Kilroy was here"), but nevertheless I was impressed by the many talents of the artist: not only a sculptor and a painter, but a poet as well!

I must complain about the servings at the opening though. Only a single bubblegum vending machine and tap water were available. And the bubblegum was the worst I've ever had: ridiculously expensive (2 €) for a single piece of bubblegum, unbelievably stringy and unpleasantly latexy in taste. I'll never have another piece of that Durex brand bubblegum.

And I must mention that I've never before seen such a vulgar crowd in an art exhibition, and I've visited at least three. The people just rushed through the exhibition, were reluctant to discuss about the works of art or taste the servings. A couple of particularly insolent characters even tried to urinate into the pieces on display! Luckily I was there to stop them by standing next to them and eyeing them with great disapproval.

The opening culminated nicely with an interactive performance by a male artist, possibly W. C. Gents himself. He was dressed as a security guard and played the role really convincingly, even to the point of almost scaring me. Of all people, he chose me as his partner in the performance. He came to me, looking quite muscular and burly, and demanded that I leave the facility instantly. Naturally, I played along, by calling him a "faggot", telling him "don't you know who I am" and trying to grope his groin playfully. Then came the really intense, socially commenting part of the performance, as he twisted my arm behind my back, lead me out of the airport and threw me out on the street. It must have looked very realistic to the spectators, judging by the looks on their faces, but I got up smiling and bowed to the audience, even though I was rather bruised and bleeding in the face. All in all, the exhibition was an interesting statement from a relatively unknown new artist and featured several possible future classic pieces of art. And I must say that I feel absolutely privileged of getting to participate in such a great performance!