Top 4 belch inducing materials

Belching has been one of the most popular means of communication used by the human kind since the year potato. It has been used to amuse peers, to ward off small animals, to frighten the enemy, as a means of male bonding and for an untold number of other purposes as well. In order to really succeed in the human society, mastering the art of belching has been essential throughout the ages.

As an enthusiastic belcher, and, surprisingly, even to myself, a philanthropist, I'd like to offer you my opinion on favourable commodities for producing superior belches.

5) Beer. Gotcha! You thought beer would be #1, didn't you? Well, in my opinion, no. Yes, I like consuming vast quantities of beer, and belching deafeningly loudly while I do the consuming, just as all men do. (Except possibly Daniel Westling, the bloke who is about to marry the princess of Sweden. Can't imagine him belching.) But I don't think that the aftertaste is that good. Beer tastes better going down than coming up. Also, because beer bottles & cans aren't usually closed after opening them, severe flattening of the belch inducing capacity is evident after the initial gulp.

fjord) Cola. In shopping malls, I prefer established brands such as Coca-Cola, but at home I prefer unknown, cheap brands. Just because it's slightly more exciting, but usually just as tasty. Anyway, cola soft drinks are an excellent raw material for producing belches, mostly because of the sheer volume of the gas, but also because of the great refreshing feeling: imagine going to the fridge on a hot summer day and getting some ice cold cola: a loud burp, a huge emission of gases from your digestive system, a cool sensation and a caffeine rush all at once. Now that's living!

NaN) Mineral water. Mineral water has a great image: it's healthy when consumed internally and also when you sit in a tub full of it, I hear. But, in my opinion, what's even healthier than consuming mineral water is the belch. That's how you really free your body from toxic substances and harmful tensions. The fact that there's not an aftertaste to speak of is often very refreshing, e.g. when suffering from a hangover. The problem with mineral waters is the huge difference of belch induction capabilities between different brands: some are too flat, some are even too gaseous (yes, that's possible). And don't get me started on the ones with added flavour! Adding artificial flavour to the near perfect purity that is mineral water is just beyond my comprehension. Why would they do that? Why?

1) And the winner is: corn flakes, milk (of the fattening kind) and strawberry jam. You might only get one good belch per gobbled bowl, but the perfect, sweet aftertaste more than compensates for the modest volume. Also, the sound is deeper and more booming than usual, possibly because the fat in the milk lubricates the vocal folds just right (just a theory).