Washing & drying & drying & drying...

Why is it that women's underwear dry much more quickly than men's? Every time I do laundry, I notice that the time it takes for my underwear to dry is measured in days, while my wife's is dry in a couple of hours. The time seems even longer, if you sit beside the clothes and check them every few minutes, as I'm doing right now.

Why is the standard men's underwear made out of thick cotton, while women's is some kind of thin, smooth fabric? Women seem to have it much more comfortable. I know, there is men's underwear made of similar fabric too, but it is usually of the loose boxer shorts kind. I'm not into those, it just seems... eh... like there's too much space, you know, and not enough... support. Probably some people like those, but I'm not used to that much of freedom.

I like the underwear that is not of the Y-fronty, or boxery kind, but kind of in between. Like boxer shorts but tighter. Don't know what it's called officially. I vaguely remember once having shorts of that kind that were made some kind of smooth, thin fabric, not quite unlike those my wife's underwear is made of. But they were not comfortable at all. When I bought them, I thought that they were going to be the most comfortable piece of underwear I've ever had. I was wrong. The material was some kind of experimental, super-itchy, space-age material, that wore real fast. And they liked to creep upwards too, so I had to constantly be yanking them out of the, ahem, crack. No, that's vulgar, can't use language like this in a public blog. Groove. Out of the groove. That's better.

Luckily that piece of underwear wore out after wearing it for about four painful days. That's what you get for buying your underwear from H&M. Quality is not their strong point. Looking cool in the store is.

Wearing women's underwear is not an option either. It's not comfortable because of the anatomic differences. There's just not enough space for a man. Sure, some kinky types might like that, but I'm too practical. Of course I've tried, who hasn't, but it was not for me, and the laughing of the wife wasn't encouraging either.

I could tell you about the time I was in a hurry, and had to dry my underwear in a microwave oven. It would seem kind of fitting, given the topic. I had just washed them, and was going out somewhere, so I had to get them dry as quick as possible. So I put them in a microwave oven, turned it on for a couple of minutes at a time, then took them out, shook them for a while and did it again. It was going okay, although taking a long time, until I got distracted and microwaved the underwear for too many minutes at a time. When I opened the oven my shorts were getting black and smouldering, so I had to throw them in the sink and pour water on them to prevent a fire.

Can't remember the underwear I wore that evening, but most likely it was dirty. I do remember this incident, however, because it happened at my parents' house, and my mother found it so hilarious that she kept the shorts, black holes and all. She might have had them framed by now. Also, she keeps on telling this story at every family reunion.

Now, to a witty closing remark.

Can't think of any.